Training to Ruin A Marathon

I enjoyed a satirical article from The Onion this morning called, "I'm Training to Ruin A Marathon". In the article, the author talks about the fears that a typical marathoner ruiner might have, like:

• the hornets die en route
• not slashing the tires of the first aid vehicles that follow the runners
• not consuming the right diet of pop rocks and soda to get in the right mood

Other important questions:

• Do you call the fire department to report a big accident at mile 12?
• Do you hip check people or stop abruptly?

All good questions. All good questions, indeed.